Monday, January 17, 2011

The English To English Translator

For the past 12 months I've been mildly obsessed with teaching the twins to talk (yes, since they were 6 months old); mainly in an effort to spend less time deciphering grunts, gestures, whines and more time focusing on other important things like what "I" want to wear, eat or do.  You would too if you lived in some remote temperate jungle with knee-high natives begging you for milk--no wait, juice; to read only the first two pages of every book and hold their sippy cup in your left hand, now right hand, now give it back--you thief!

One of my friends thinks this obsession is ridiculous (in her defense she's endured my repetitive complaints since May of last year).  I believe she said:  'Why in the world are you stressing over something that will come no matter what you do!?!'  My reply:  'Because I have nothing else better to do.'

She's absolutely right.  For the most part, Finn & Belle are hitting all their language milestones with perfect punctuality (must have gotten that from their Oma-ma).  So now I spend most of my days decoding various attempts made at speaking the English language.  Then I spend a portion of each evening translating those words into something coherent for their Daddy.

Here's what I've translated so far:

Cacka = Cracker
Cookie = Cookie or Cookie Monster
Car = Car, Truck, Airplane, or Cold
Ear = Ear
Mommy = Mommy, More, Help, Fix, Do, Fetch, Grab, Get, Go, etc.
Daddy = Daddy
Up = Up or Down
Baby = Baby, Doll, Bailey, Blueberries or Bumblebee Slippers
Sock = Sock
Shoe = Shoe
La La = Lavender
'La La La La' (tune for Elmo's World) = Elmo or Sesame St.
El La La = Ellen
Dia-dar = Diaper
Hey Ya Ya = Telephone, Cellphone or Daddy
Nana = Nana or Banana
Mama = Oma-ma
Poopy = Dirty Diaper
Bye Bye = Good Bye or Toilet (don't ask)
Circle = Circle
Ball = Ball
Eat = Eat
Mah = Milk or More
Da = Finn or Belle's nickname
Dog = Dog, Cat, Horse, Goat, anything with 4 legs 

1 comment:

Zoo Keeper said...

Lemme guess - you wave goodbye to anything in the toilet. Am I right??

FYI - word verification is "importz" as in "Emily teaching her kids to talk early is very importz"